I told her that I wasn't planning on paying rent to Jasmine this summer - that I was going to move back in the condo when she announced that she was moving out. I told her that her rent was paying my rent, but this month I had to take the rent out of my emergency fund. I told her that I just signed up to take a Praxis exam (unexpected money spent) and that I cancelled my trip to Tennessee for Jefferson's surgery because I can't afford the rental car and gas now that I paid rent for June.
She told me about a friend who could possibly get me a summer teaching job. I appreciate the offer; however, this thought came into my mind during our talk. I have to carefully guard my financial situation and goals. I don't mean keep it a secret. I mean others can't see the money that God has given me stewardship over as being THEIR money. No one was steward my financial situation with the same concern that I will.
I'm in a much better place than I was financially one year ago. I'm in a better financial place than Asana. Yet, I can't start being too generous or giving where I know goal-wise I'm not able to be.
I read Dt 15:1-8 this morning that said give generously to the poor and don't resist giving just because they may not be able to pay you back. I believe in that. I forgave her May's rent and may forgive April's as well.
After writing this post this morning, I also read this quote on Get Rich Slowly. One of the tenets of my philosophy is “nobody cares more about your money than you do.” Other people are looking out for themselves. You must take charge of your own situation.
I have a goal to reach and I have to fight against being distracted, even being distracted by other people's emergencies. I think there's room for balance here. I can forgive 2 month's rent, but I still need to get a house renovated and paying rent at Jasmine's place is slowing me down. So, I need the condo rent money for the summer to pay for windows, a storage shed, or a kitchen appliance. There's so much work to be done, that I'm not in bleeding heart territory.